Uncategorized

WOFA ATTA

A birthday tribute to my brother, Dennis Wireko-Ampem Kohl

We were young,

But I was older.

With your stubborn steak,

You challenged my every word.

Sometimes the TV was yours

And the remote controller, mine

Other times, we changed roles.

We fought more than we agreed,

But when we did agree,

It was epic.

I remember those pillow fights.

I was always the first to hit

And soon the last to be crying.

Darn! You always hit real hard.

You were never a softie

And always the strongest of us all.

Maybe your twin kissed you with her strength

Before she left for heaven.

Mama always said

“Two fools could not be right.”

But I was tired, always being the one

To understand and not retaliate.

I thought she loved you more

And made you get away

With a lot of things and mischiefs.

But I wasn’t allowed that privilege.

We’ve had our happy times too.

How you could rescript

Every action movie

To suit your taste.

But Sam and I knew it was far from the truth.

How we couldn’t decide to watch

Between Gummy Bears

And one of John Cena’s famous wrestling matches.

Those water water gunfights

That you took too seriously.

All my savings you used to acquire

That electric car.

The only thing I was pleased about

Was my cash

That you used for the gun with the real bullets.

Lol, I never liked seeing you quiet ,

So I always attacked from the back

But you were always a step ahead

And had me tapping out.

The number of devices you destroyed

Because you believe youcould fix it back.

Oh My Wreck-It-Ralph.

The number of days we could hold onto

Without talking to each other.

All because you wouldn’t say sorry first.

How I struggled not to laugh at your jokes

But I failed!

You were my brother

And no matter what I could never hate you.

It’s two decades and two now

And I see the gentleman you are becoming.

A man with a heart of gold

A man with diverse strengths,

A genius of IT

And a great man of soccer.

Sometimes I look at you and smile.

I’m glad we didn’t kill each other

Over remotes and pillows.

I’m grateful for what God is doing in your life.

Cheers to a life of greatness!

You will do exceedingly well, brother.

Happy birthday Dennis Kohl

I love you now and forever.

My Wofa Atta.

Uncategorized

TWISTED OATH

You know how we secretly yearn for a fairy tale love story?

How would you feel if you had a classic played out for you?

One that happened before we thought fairytale loves were the bliss.

Let me tell you of a story 😊

NB: To everyone especially my Greek and Roman lovers, I hope this hits home.


A sight that struck a chord in my heart!

A reason for my breathlessness.
A speech with my fixation on these petals.
Those obsidian orbs that pulled me deep
Into the pools of Tartarus
Than the high cities of Olympus ever would.
How alluring to my Psyche
Leaving so much room for Er..rors.
Every dream under the moon’s light
Every run and hunt through the nymph’s forest.
The fairies whispered stories of our amore.
Fleeting like the wind,
Intense like the deep waters of Gaia.
Not even Pan could look more astonished.
Hit me with your best shot,
Your best line,
And maybe you and I
Could compete against all odds.
Not even Artemis
Or the blurry-eyed son of Venus
Could stand a chance.
For the Fates stood right to us
The Furies ready to burn down
Any mortal or god against our paradise.
So deep we were,
Not a care in the world.
We, the fairies’ tale
Even Ares, stood impressed
Not knowing, he was planning
Our nemesis
Just a while
And everything is broken
Like Pandora’s Box.
All’s fair in love
We thought
Omitted we, everything foul
We thought.
But War wouldn’t let us be
And Hera..lded so.
Eris visited you
And things were never the same.
You, with the eyes of Medusa
Watched me with so much distaste
That soon my heart waxed cold
How could I live with a beating stone
Resting in my chest?
And pain soon became a mortal friend,
A breathing wound.
Even my psyche was affected
When Algea attacked.
I thought we said
“Not even death could do us part”
But it was Hurt that tore the scales
Off our eyes.
We lost!
The gods bet on us
Zeus was almost impressed!
By Jove, we did try.
Though we broke all the truce of Hymen
Farewell, my lover
On your journey to Apollo,
To seek your destiny and your healing.
I, my choice, Agape
A daughter of prodigality
I return home now.
A broken vessel,
Ashamed,
Clueless with words for my father.
I played with the myths
And failed.
But there’s no place like home
So I’d travel amidst my pain.
My hope,
That I’m accepted
Remorseful of my hedonism
Afraid to return my father’s
heartfelt embrace.
I give in
I give up
And I break down.
He looks at my scars with admiration
So much that I choke.
His grace is sufficient,
I remember
Am I the sacrifice of a broken spirit?
I ask myself
How badly do I yearn for
A new heart
And a steadfast spirit?
I’m caught at the sight of the cross
My brother, my kinsman
With his blood,
Smeared that I may live
Old things are passed away.
But sometimes I find myself
Dreaming in the arms
Of my ex-lover.
I wake up at night
Drenched in sweat
And my prayer,
“Lord, bring him back home
To your sacred place of healing
Let him find you
As I did.”
Soon slumber finds me
Maybe ours was a twisted version
Of what love could be.
But I hope he finds his way home
To you, Agape
And maybe…to me
Honestly, against all odds
Let your will be done
Dear Lover of my soul.

I would love to throw a little light on the words in bold. Hope it helps with the poem’s understanding;

Tartarus – A place in the underworld according to Greek mythology.

Olympus – Home of the Ancient Greek gods.

Psyche – Greek goddess of the soul

E…rrors – A wordplay on Eros, the Greek god of love

Pan – Greek god of the wild who when awaken from his afternoon nap would cry out so loud. His name gave way to the English word, “panic”

Artemis – Greek goddess of the hunt and wilderness.

Venus – Roman goddess of love

Fates – Greek goddesses that controlled a person’s life from birth to death.

Furies –Greek goddesses of vengeance

Ares – Greek god of war

Pandora’s Box – According to Greek mythology, it was a box containing all lls and evils given to Pandora. She accidentally opened it and released death and sicknesses into the world.

Hera…lded – A wordplay on Hera, queen of the Greek gods.

Eris – Greek goddess of chaos

Medusa- A Greek mythical creature with hair made of venomous snakes. Anyone who looked at her turned into stone.

Algea – Greek goddess of pain.

Zeus – King of the Greek gods.

Jove – Roman goddess of love.

Hymen – Greek god of marriage

Apollo – Greek god of prophecy and healing.

Agape – The love of God for man and man for God.

Uncategorized

SOMEONE YOU LOVED

Ahem! Love’s beautiful, isn’t it? Especially if you are looking from the outside. Lovebirds bi y3 d3, anaa you say weytin.

Ooh, I don’t know but love is sweet. Love is sweet. It’s beautiful when everything is going all rainbow and sunshine. It’s rosy when it’s breathtaking and overwhelming.

But……..
But………

When Paradise becomes a War Zone Then the weapons of love can be both fair and foul.

Till now, I’m not sure if we’ve discovered why the very love that could lift us up could be the same one breaking us down.

Where I come from, it is said that, “)d) saa, na ato adapa.” Sometimes in my small corner, I wonder why beautiful loves end in chaos. Why love scars more than hate ever would. Why the heart that could cause yours to accelerate could be the same one giving your heart, attacks.

Love is really complicated. But whatever it is,
Love falls.
Love breaks.
Love heals.
Love builds.

Zayn, I guess you were right. Love’s a Paradise and a War Zone after all.

Capaldi, you couldn’t have said it any better. I believe we all have questions we would want to ask our lovers before we both walk away; sometimes we wish they could stay a while and maybe just try one more time. And there’s a simple complicated answer to why we want that.

It’s hard to just walk away after getting so used to being someone they loved.

Before I say goodbye, here’s a poem for us to savour. And I hope whatever your story be, love will find you again.

I don’t know if you are the one I chose to hold.

I don’t know if I ever made promises

Of never leaving you.

I don’t know!

I don’t remember!

And I can hardly recall!

But I guess the storms of love

Can do that to you.

I guess screaming out loud at each
other

When the thunder roars outside our home

Has that effect on us.

It’s dawn

And I’m awake

And you, in the living area,

Head in your hands

And not a pint of sleep.

I’m tired,

I’ve struggled.

And each time we fight

I give into hate a little more.

Maybe it’s time you leave

And my moment not to hold you back.

But before you go,

Was there something I could have said

To make your heartbeat better?

Was there something I could have done

To make things better?

I look into your eyes

And see the sparks die.

I know it’s over

But I’m tempted to tell you to wait.

Let’s try one more time.

Even if the Furies will get mad.

But maybe I’d just let you go this time

Even if I was getting used to being

Someone you loved.

Our promises of forever,

And I know like others before us,

We tried to get that.

But sometimes saying goodbye isn’t the hardest thing,

If for so long

We’ve been hearts apart.

Here are a few expressions I would like to let us all in.

Lovebirds bi y3 d3, anaa you say weytin- Some lovebirds are exciting, or what do you say?

“)d) saa, na ato adapa.” – When there is no  more love, only insults and bad vibes remain.

Uncategorized · Writing

CAN’T SAY I DO… NOT

I stopped writing ABC on my heart
I’ve learnt to hide my cards of hearts
Yes, only diamonds and aces
I’ve come to understand that
It won’t always add up
You and me won’t always be us
So I trained myself to walk away
When flying with you
Is just a dream untrue
And maybe you were my last “I like you”
And now I stand before someone new
He rumbles his passion
But I’m lost in thoughts
Caught up in the moments of mentally counting petals
“He likes me, “he likes me not”
And the chain breaker won’t cascade down no more
So I swallow my piece
“Hey, what do you think
If we found a new place to sit”
As we move forward to a quieter ground
I feel the silence whispering my words
But that would our little secret be.
Pretty much better than a heartbreak to-be
For now it’s just you and me
And oh, I almost forgot.
Plus your rumblings too
But in my head
I think I like you
I really do…. think
I guess.
Uncategorized

NEVER ENOUGH?

No, don’t you ever pity me!

Don’t think I’m lonely
Cos you didn’t choose me.
Despite the promises and hope
Regardless of the fairytale ending
You stuffed my head with.
Love is such a funny word, you know
How you always tended to show me affection intimately
Behind closed doors.
But once we were out
Even hands holding was prohibited.
I asked you once or twice
You said you were shy.
My head even came up with reasons to support yours
You were shy
And I had to be considerate.
Despite my extreme sense of touch
For you I’d keep my hands by my side.
I asked you a thousand times
Where we heading to?
Wasn’t it deep enough to be moved to the next level.
Now I feel mad
When I remember how foolishly I believed you.
“Let’s work on ourselves before committing together”, you said
And yes it sounded logical so I believed you.
You couldn’t trust enough
So I knew I had to give you time.
For you, I started to accept myself
More and more
I couldn’t be perfect
But I was trying
To be the best version of myself.
I was trying to make this work
Then you went away for a month or three.
I tried to stay in touch
I tried to keep the connection.
But I was no fool
I could see how less you were putting in effort.
Some days I got mad and asked you why
Never did you say anything concrete
Always “I’m sorry, I would try and work on it”.
And I believed you
I loved you enough to hope in you.
When I stopped trying
I realized I was the only one who always did.
I asked you
For heaven’s sake
Was there someone new?
Were your feelings for me dwindling?
You know how I never asked questions
But this time I did.
I did
Because I wanted to let you in on my doubts
Clear the uncertainties
And rest my over thinking mind.
You told me not to stress myself
You had just been busy
With little time on your hands.
Me against my better judgement
I believed you
So much
Then I stopped texting
You stopped calling.
You know these days
Sometimes I remember what
Senior tried to tell me on my birthday
“Don’t trust him too much”, he said
Then I was lost
And the little rumours began
Your genuineness
Was a mastery of the arts.
How your honesty was masked with full lies
Than half-truths.
How your smooth voice could turn my heart
Even amidst the lies and subtle manipulation.
I’ve not been able to confront you
After finding out on virtual grounds
That you were dating ‘her’.
That same ‘her’ you told me
Liked you.
But you chose me.
Remember how I fought you to choose her.
Went MIA some days
So you’d forget all about me.
Now you tell me
She makes you happy
Got you changing some of your habits
I see you in full pda on virtual media
And it’s funny
I don’t see no shy bone
In the pics and videos
Was I not good enough
To hold hands with?
Was I not enough to be outdoored?
I never smashed you with my laurels
Not even once.
Even when you once or twice teased me
Of being book driven.
I hoped you could finish that degree you ended prematurely.
But guess you changed
I’m back to my old self
No more questions
For lying pills I could easily swallow.
But I hope you are happy
Don’t pity me
Stop looking through the window to see lf I’m okay.
You know me
I’d never let you know I’m broken.
So maybe you should learn to stay away.
You made a choice
And it wasn’t me.
It doesn’t mean I’m lonely
I just realized I was lonely with you
More than without you.
So don’t pity me
And don’t come calling.
Be happy and safe
And remember
Mine is not yours anymore.
Hope she changes you in ways
I couldn’t
Hope she gets you opening up
In ways you closed to me.
And I hope she makes you happy for all the times I tried and failed.
I hope to her, your love is not an imposed obligation
But a desire dripping with a self chosen duty.
To love and cherish her
As long as “as long” will be.
I wished I could say
I didn’t care
But in my secret bosom
And the darkness of my sleepless nights
With a pillow salinated than the sea
I wished you chose me.
With your actions
Your words failed, Anane
So in all
I ask for one thing
Don’t you dare pity me.
For we both know I was never really enough.
Uncategorized

WHEN A WOMAN LOVES…

When the drums of old begin to beat slowly, erratically the unchanging symphonies of love; when two hearts become as one. (Drums beating heavily at the background) Whew! That was quite poetic but you do get what I mean.
Yep, when two people begin to fall in love.
What draws two souls into the tale of love as old as time itself?
You and I are going to delve into the love subject.

First off, we are going to tackle the question of “What makes a woman fall for a man?”

To begin, we know that the woman is a very special creature. Well very special. Who can fight a battle in tears and still win? A woman. Who can be happy with you this moment and the next minute bem so angry with you. I believe we all know only a woman can handle that. They say women are complicated but I think it’s a beautiful complication. Why do I say that? I believe “nothing easy is worth fighting for; nothing worth fighting for is easy.” So I hope from today you don’t complain about a woman’s complicatedness.

For a very long time, men have tried to understand the mind of a woman but failed each time. And yes, women all over the world would love to be understood by the men they fall for or have an interest in but just like women, hmmphh, it’s never simple.

So how about we delve into certain factors that would make a woman fall for a man;

I) Communication

I know this almost sounds like a cliché but no matter how clichéd it might sound, communication is one of the ways to get a woman to fall for you.

As a man you need to understand how to communicate properly with a woman especially if you have interest in her. Communication should both be verbal and non verbal.

Verbally, try to get to know what her life is about; her interests, dreams and the simple things that bring smile to her face. Always remember that communication is a two way street.

What do I mean by this? Give room for the woman to communicate with you as much as you communicate with her. Never be bossy or pushy in your communication with a woman. That is a big turn off. A woman wants her voice to be heard and never deny her that. Especially in a world where the voice of the woman is being silenced one way or the other. In verbal communication, though the man usually set the pace, it would be much helpful to the growth of the relationship if the man could sometimes move by the pace of the woman.

Generally women may not open up to others due to two major reasons.
1. Women would not open up to you if they do not trust you. And it takes time for them to build that kind of trust. In light of this, always try to build trust with the woman.
But if she learns to gradually trust you, she would open up bit by bit. And if she does, you much better hold on to those little treasures and keep it safe. You might need it someday in the relationship and woe to you if you forget or make light of it in the passage of time.

Simply put, try and remember most things that mean something to a woman if not all. They appreciate that little effort. Trust me, they really do.

2. A woman would not open up to you if they are not interested in you. This is one of the cues to pay attention to if you want to know whether she is interested in you or not. Some women will listen to everything you have to say and either say nothing or just smile at you. This can get frustrating.

Also a woman may make communicating with her very difficult and frustrating for the man if she’s not interested or well you hurt her once.

Know the difference and know when to stay back a little.( Lol, remember the current situation between Roberto and Victoria in “Laws of Love”. Uhuh that’s a bit of what I’m talking about)

Now to nonverbal communication

When it comes to verbal communication, man you must be observant. A woman says everything with what she doesn’t say. Sounds complicated right? But actually it’s pretty simple. Pay attention to her actions and gestures.

For instance, do you notice how uncomfortable she gets in a place full of strangers. She might need you to hold her hand, give it a little squeeze and reassure her, you are not leaving her alone.
Do you notice how she scrunches her nose when you pass a statement you might feel it’s playful about her height or weight? Well that’s a cue she doesn’t like that line of teasing so you have to stop.

Women are usually one way or the other dealing with doubts and anxieties about let’s say, a certain body part. Teasing her about it even if it’s playful makes her feel maybe she’s not good enough after all.

And when a woman begins to feel and think she’s not good enough, that is the beginning of the relationship taking a nose dive.

Pay attention to the things that makes her smile and once in a while surprise her in those areas.

To close up the chapter on communication, I’d say in all communication must be real, genuine and honest.

II) Strength

From days of old, women have always loved men of strength. Remember the Biblical tales of Samson, Saul and even David. Yeah, women either love to sing the songs of strong men or be associated with them. Well for Delilah, you and I know she was paid and all but I can bet as woman as she is, she did enjoy the experience she had with the strongest man ever to live (winks).

So how does that relate to our 21st century days?
Just like old times, every woman is attracted to men of strength. Yep it’s undisputable. But now than ever, women are attracted to men whose strength extends to both mental and emotional strength.

A woman wants a man who can challenge her mentally. She wants a man who is emotionally strong for himself and her as well.

Women usually have their emotions clouded. It’s always soothing when they find a man able to help them seive through their emotions and thoughts.

A woman desires and appreciates a man who can see her beyond her physique; a man who can appreciate her thoughts, her sense of humor and appreciate her emotions regardless of how complicated it may appear.

And let me whisper this into your ears only- (Dear men, women are crazy about guys who are physically strongand mentally and emotionally strong as well. And one other thing too , women love to learn especially from those they admire. Even if it just learning to play your favourite video game or console with you.)

I think once in a while the role of the damsel-in- distress will be played and who better to save her than a real strong man. (Double winks)

III) Speak Her Love Language

Knowing a woman’s love language is one way of almost getting to understand a woman’s psyche.

I believe we all know five love languages- Gifts, Acts of service, Words of Affirmation, Quality time and last but not least, the element of Touch. (Just in case you want more information on these, you could check out “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman)

So here again, non verbal communication plays a major role in knowing a woman’s love language.

Yes, generally it is a known fact women love gifts but you must know that some women prefer gifts more than others.

It is also good to note that every woman one way or the other speak little bits of all the five love languages but you must find out the love language she speaks the most and communicate with her more on that.

It is said girls love attention but women love the right kind of attention. Once you learn to speak her love language and properly communicate yours to her as well, it helps with growth and understanding of your relationship with her.

A woman would give you time to figure out her love language but if it appears it’s taking you forever to figure out her love language, boy oh boy, she might lose interest in you and well she might set her eyes on a man who understands her love language.

So if you are interested, you better be observant enough to know her love language too.

IV) Vision

Have a vision even if it’s in the process of becoming a reality. Girls love money and there is no two ways about that. But a woman will love to be with a man of vision. She will love to work and support his vision.

When a woman begins to ask about your dreams and aspirations, trust me she’s not being nosy. It is possible she’s ticking the boxes of the kind of man she would like to be with or end up with in the long run. But the unfortunate thing is most men hardly answer this question. They either brush it off and do not take it seriously or they answer it haphazardly.
When a woman starts asking questions, she is either confirming something or disconfirming it or even ticking the boxes in her head. Women love money till it runs out but women love men with vision more. (Lol nothing keeps money flowing like a working vision and women love unending comfort).
And if a woman believes in your vision, she supports it like it’s hers.

V) Respect And Value

As a man, you must respect her as an individual and value her sense of independence as well. Every woman yearns to be respected especially by the man who shows interest in her.

Every woman wants to be respected and seen beyond her body. A woman desires to be respected for what she stands for, her needs and not just for the fact that she is a “sex tool” Now on that no no and no – No woman should ever be seen as sex tools. And yes! not even sex workers.

Dear men, if ever there is a woman who feels she’s just made to give sex to men, I hope you will be the man to change her mindset. I strongly believe that if men decide to stop patronizing the duties of sex workers, there will be no sex workers no more( And I do hope someday this comes to pass).

Secretly, women respect men who respect their independence. Yes, women need to feel independent once or twice in a while.

Yes, a woman might be interested in you but if you stifle her sense of self and independence, just kiss anything with her good bye.

Society has oppressed women for a very long time, so if a woman feels a little tiny weeny bit of oppression from a man who says he’s interested in her, man you have lost the battle before it began. And I know you know there is a very big clear line between oppression and submission.

(I believe that’s a topic for another day).

To conclude, sometimes women need their space to find themselves, to rejuvenate and just sometimes to appreciate their individual self.

And every woman needs that time to just enjoy herself and space. (Dear men, I hope you accept and understand that. )

VI) Fight for her even when she doesn’t know what she’s fighting for

A woman desires a man that can be her strength even when she is at her weakest. When a woman says “I need you” even when she’s breaking down and that’s her last strength, she really needs you to help her fight whatever demons she’s battling with.

Remember what I said in the beginning of this point – Fight for her even when she’s not sure what she’s is fighting for. I guess we all know when the lines blur between a man and a woman, and touch sparks fire? Uhuh yep that one, a man should never take advantage of a woman when she’s unsure what she’s doing or clouded by emotions.

No matter how hard it is, man I hope you will become her strength to pull her through. Those times when she fights herself and wallow in pity, if you can be her strength or direct her to where her strength lies (And I hope it lies in arms of our Lord Jesus).

Yes, I understand a man has flaws and can never be perfect even in the act of love but dear men, I hope you accept your flaws and work on those that you can improve.

But remember you reflect the woman you want and if ever, you choose to make someone your love interest, I hope you make room for mistakes, surprises, ups and downs and hope as well.

And after every thing if the woman does not fall for you, my man I know you would be thinking “what’s wrong with me?”
There is nothing wrong with you. More perhaps, you are not meant to be with her.

And always remember like I said;

Nothing easy is worth fighting for and nothing worth fighting for is easy.”

Some women will play hard to get but if you do win them, some are timeless treasures for ever.

Remember love is a risky adventure but it would always be an “all or none” venture.
So what do you say, do you mind taking the ride?

Uncategorized

JUST FOR TONIGHT

Just for tonight, let’s take off our masks and end the masquerade show for a while

Just for tonight, let’s be blind enough to see the things that we want here
Just for tonight, let’s forget all about consequences and say how we feel
Just for tonight, let’s pretend I’m yours and you, mine
Just for tonight,let’s not look for reasons but rekindle the sparks
Just for tonight let’s be everything we cannot be when the morning comes
And when morning finally comes
Let’s slip peacefully into our old roles
And when morning comes, let’s be two different people without love between them
And when morning comes, let’s walk away like our paths never crossed
And when morning comes, let the secrets of our hearts be locked deep down in their chambers
The night, merely a cover up
For in its darkness, our hearts showed what our eyes may never see.
So just for tonight, let me love you and stay warm with you.
Cos when morning comes, it would be a memory that never was existing.
Uncategorized

A LITTLE DREAMER GIRL

I learnt a song without its melody.

What struck my heart the most was its symphony.
I must say the words fit like Sheeran put it together
But the feelings behind it reminded me of Smith
Never looked up to say hi
Pretty bad at saying goodbyes.
When I met you
Understood why poetry could sometimes flow better than music.
You got my heart
Like it were the notes on Legend’s piano.
You smile at me
And I realise you got half of my dimples too
He’s uttering words
But the sound don’t reach me
I’m battering myself
If the situation was different
And my fingers could play
Would those lips be fairy smooth
Or humanly coarse.
Looking up at him
And I’m dawned
With the truth
That he’s not meant to leave
And I’m not here to stay
I smile back at him and move away.
Some stars you just look up at
And admire it extraordinariness
Then you move as fast as you can
Cos sometimes when you watch lost in thought
A million light years can pass you by.
As I walk away I turn back to watch him
Then I whisper to myself.
“You were not my star to catch, Highlander
I’m just a little dreamer girl.
Uncategorized

BENEATH MY CHEST BALLS

You know I want you

And it’s not a secret I try to hide
I’m not an open book
Yet I can’t boast of many chapters
That are mine.
I bare my soul to you
With a thought of being with just you.
But it’s a lie
Like the many before this I told myself
It’s a false hope
Perhaps a deluded fantasy.
I’m blind enough to the bright signs
I should have known
But it’s funny ’cause it was never unknown
It’s a game I have accustomed to
A deadly game that need to stop
Once he came around and a tale began
Then he leaves and I break my heart
The desire to be needed and wanted has run off the mine
The unhealthy sacrifices need to stop.
I’m loved so much
Yet each time I forget
Seeking the one love that isn’t mine to have now.
I put myself out there and tarnish my own soul.
It’s like self harm and it’s unspoken
Yet I’m broken each time I’m stitched right back
It’s like a bird who doesn’t want to learn to fly
Finds the nest comfy enough not to leave.
I don’t want to say this time I’d change
Said that a thousand times
And done naught about it.
I want to grow
Grow beyond this mess.
Scattering hearts all round.
The heat is good
Yet it’s not healthy for me.
I want to fly
Fly high beyond the sky
I need to believe in who I am
I’m crazy with big dreams.
I’m a beautiful friend with flaws
I got scars that run deep
Just like everyone else
Yes I yearn to be love and wanted. ‘
I want to be the centre of someone’s world
But what about me.
I don’t love me enough
It bleeds but it’s true’Cause if I did I wouldn’t give out my self to everyone
Who skips my heart a beat.
I begin a new journey of self discovery
I don’t need someone to care about me before I know
I’m worth as much importance.
I don’t need to be deluded in thinking
Everyone who wants to hear my song
Yearns to be part of my melody
I’ve bared out my vulnerabilities too much
To a world of no black and white
I’m beautiful
I’m bruised
I’m scarred
Yet I want to move past that
I’m special too
And each second I promise to remind me of that
I matter and I got to matter to myself
Yes I’ve picked up myself this time
I’m cleaning the dirt
And I’m wiping the tears
I’m moving to a better place
Despite my bruises
My story is not a healthy one
But I’m learning now
The developing chapters will be better
It would be difficult but I’m willing to try
There’d be tears and anguish
Sometimes hope and Faith
But one thing I know for sure
God gave me a special gift
When I write, it comes to pass
And I’m holding on that to change my story.
No need for a perfect tale
All I need is my version of redemption
And it starts now
Once upon a time
There’s going to be an evolving me.
Uncategorized

FIGHTING DEMONS

That day she’d planned to visit him at his place. After thinking through stuffs, she’d decided they’d take it one step at a time.
No more running, no more frustrations.
Whatever had happened in the past wasn’t going to haunt her forever.
Her life could be different from that of her folks.
She had to learn from their mistakes and make things work..
As she took the bus to his place, she’d been excited and nervous;the good kind of nervousness. She’d bought for him two packs of his favorite cookies.
Finally she’d reached his neighborhood. Within five minutes, she was at his place.
“This is it”,she exhaled. On the verge of knocking, she’d remembered the number of times he’d told her not to knock but each time she defied him.
Today for the elements of surprise to work in her favor, she didn’t knock.
She entered his hall only to meet a shirtless Ash making out with a lady in the couch.
Suddenly she gasped as she dropped off package she’d come along with. That had drawn their attention. They’d both turned to see her. That was when she noticed who the girl was.
It was no other than Gail; The girl Ash had told him about. The girl who liked him but he’d not been interested. Once or twice, she’d teased him about Gail and him ending up together. And now they finally had, making out heavily in his couch.
The surprise had been on her. Heck, what had she been thinking when she’d decided to give him a surprise visit.
Two days ago, they had a fight about how she acted around him. It had ended with both of them throwing harsh insults at each other. No one had texted or called the other.
She stood there; inasmuch as she wanted to leave and not see his face again, she wanted to speak to him for the last time. “Can I speak to you, Ash?” Gail had excused herself to the bathroom. For a few minutes, they’d stood staring at each other. Then, a tear trickled down her face. “Guess you finally took my advice, huh?”, she’d said with a dry humour. “Sally, I’m sorry about this. I didn’t know you were coming.” “Really Ash. All you can say to me is that you didn’t know I was coming. And here I was thinking I’d come and see you for us to clear our differences but you had already moved on and very fast. “
Ash was frustrated and angry at the same time. Yes he admitted it was wrong but he’d been tired of her pushing him away and everything she did to confuse him.
“No wait you think this is all my fault. Every time, I hold you, you became overly anxious like I was going to do something unpleasant to you. When I tried getting closer, each time you looked at me like I was your worst nightmare in flesh. All this was killing me and each time I tried to make it work, it got rather worse. I just needed you to feel safe with me for once but….. ” Before he could finish his statement, Sally had cut him off. “Guess you don’t need me feeling safe in your arms again. You found yourself the one to do so.” The next statement she made, she’d moved closer to him till she’d been just a breath away. “To think I was fighting all my demons to be with you. Guess I was wrong. ” They’d been very close almost at the verge of kissing. With a breathy voice, Ash began to speak; “Sally I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to………” “No you don’t have to be. You did nothing wrong. You made your choice and it wasn’t me.”
With that she’d walked away as the tears rolled down her cheeks.